One of the best qualities I honed when I was younger was eavesdropping. I read a few Nancy Drew books, a few "So You Wanna Be A Spy" books, and got enough practice sneaking around the house listening to my mom's phone conversations and my parents' fights.
When I began studying journalism in college, we were told that some of the best tips were found via eavesdropping, "accidentally" overhearing conversations at coffee shops/diners, being at the right place at the right time. When we were told that, I smiled to myself. I had become quite good at the art.
Eavesdropping is not pressing your ear to a glass against a door or picking up a telephone extension (besides, most people would be using their cell phone). Real eavesdropping is becoming invisible.
Don't Make Eye Contact
Never look in the direction of what you're supposed to be listening to. Whenever I don't have my contacts in or my glasses on, I find myself asking people to repeat what they're saying more often. Somehow, when I'm looking at something, I have more of my attention on it, therefore, I'm taking in more information. It takes a lot to look away from something you feel is important to be listening to.
Occupy Yourself With Something Else
If you can't help turning your head (or your eyes--watch out for those!), fiddle with a napkin, look for something in your purse, pretend to text someone on your cell phone, or, better yet, pretend to call someone or your voicemail. Never include yourself in the conversation, even if you have something to add. As soon as you involve yourself in said conversation, you are no longer eavesdropping.
When I began studying journalism in college, we were told that some of the best tips were found via eavesdropping, "accidentally" overhearing conversations at coffee shops/diners, being at the right place at the right time. When we were told that, I smiled to myself. I had become quite good at the art.
Eavesdropping is not pressing your ear to a glass against a door or picking up a telephone extension (besides, most people would be using their cell phone). Real eavesdropping is becoming invisible.
Don't Make Eye Contact
Never look in the direction of what you're supposed to be listening to. Whenever I don't have my contacts in or my glasses on, I find myself asking people to repeat what they're saying more often. Somehow, when I'm looking at something, I have more of my attention on it, therefore, I'm taking in more information. It takes a lot to look away from something you feel is important to be listening to.
Occupy Yourself With Something Else
If you can't help turning your head (or your eyes--watch out for those!), fiddle with a napkin, look for something in your purse, pretend to text someone on your cell phone, or, better yet, pretend to call someone or your voicemail. Never include yourself in the conversation, even if you have something to add. As soon as you involve yourself in said conversation, you are no longer eavesdropping.
Listen For Keywords
Can't hear every word? If you know what the conversation is pertaining to, try to focus on hearing what you're essentially looking for. Most likely, you'll need to hear the names and verbs associated with those names. But also be on the lookout for words like "not", "isn't", "can't"--things that will keep you from jumping to conclusions about the verbs and nouns you're hearing. If you're not sure exactly what the conversation is pertaining to, make sure you have other evidence to support your conclusions.
Never Repeat What You Heard
Eavesdropping is for personal reasons. Don't go bragging what you heard. Journalists use eavesdropping for tips and leads, not the story itself. Once you have something though eavesdropping, it's up to you how to get what you want to know elsewhere. Also, never start a gossip session with something you learned (or assumed you learned) from eavesdropping. On top of that, NEVER say, "I was eavesdropping and..." That goes for "I overheard...", as well. Don't give away that you eavesdrop (I just broke my own rule by writing this, I guess), or you'll make others wary whenever you're present. No one will say anything around you again.
Make Sure You Have Good Reason To Eavesdrop
Bad reasons to eavesdrop:
To keep the rumor mill going
To further your own social status or agenda
To use information against someone else for personal gain (blackmail, e.g.)
Good reasons to eavesdrop:
Well, other than doing so as a watchdog for the public (sorry, sometimes the ideals of J-school come back to me), there isn't really a great reason to eavesdrop.
However, it doesn't hurt to eavesdrop when it comes to work (overhearing your bosses talking about something that will affect your job) or if you want to avoid an unpleasant situation with information you may not already have (texting someone jokingly, telling them a yo mama joke, if you didn't know his mother just passed away).
Practice Makes Perfect
It's so easy to practice eavesdropping. There are plenty of public places to practice. In line for coffee, while shopping, while waiting for the train (one of my favorite places to eavesdrop), at work (it's amazing how secluded people feel when they're in a cubicle), in the car (turn off the radio and roll down your windows on a hot day), any place that's public.
Don't Do It
The best way to keep yourself from being asked about information you're not comfortable having knowledge about it...not to actually know. No matter how good of an actor you think you are, it's easier to pull the ignorance card when you actually are ignorant. So, your best bet is not to eavesdrop at all and keep yourself occupied with things that actually concern you.
But, if you must eavesdrop, at least do it well. Maybe sometime soon, I'll write about how to have a conversation that cannot be eavesdropped upon, because that's an even better skill to have, especially since I wrote this.
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