Woo Woo!

In case you haven't seen it yet, this is a classic viral video. Bub Rub and Lil Sis are the quotable stars of this masterpiece.

Creating the Perfect Mix CD

There are few days I get in the car, put my iPod on Shuffle, and never have to skip a song. Let's face it, because it's on an iPod filled with hundreds of other songs you like more, the skip feature becomes so convenient. But, sometimes fate seems to give me the Perfect Mix Playlist.

Now that I have my iTunes almost back to what it was before half my music was deleted and the other half was mislabeled, I've started making Mix CDs for people.

Whenever I talk to those people again, I always hear, "You make the best Mix CDs!" And I realized that not everyone must do that, or else they wouldn't be comparing my skills at making a Mix CD.

Now, as much as I love my John Cusack movies, I have to say the book "High Fidelity" made it seem like a little too much of a process: To me, making a tape is like writing a letter — there's a lot of erasing and rethinking and starting again. A good compilation tape, like breaking up, is hard to do. You've got to kick off with a corker, to hold the attention (I started with "Got to Get You Off My Mind", but then realized that she might not get any further than track one, side one if I delivered what she wanted straightaway, so I buried it in the middle of side two), and then you've got to up it a notch, or cool it a notch, and you can't have white music and black music together, unless the white music sounds like black music, and you can't have two tracks by the same artist side by side, unless you've done the whole thing in pairs and...oh, there are loads of rules.

I have one simple rule (and the following are more like suggestions): If you want to skip to the next song half-way through, there's a good chance the other person will too.


So, here are my "secrets". The absolute way of making the mix CD personal and random is to think of the Reaction to each song.


The New
Pick one or two songs from your library that you feel your friend will like, but you have a good feeling they've never heard of them. Or, take your favorite song from a lesser-known band to put on there. Reaction: "Who was that who sang that song that went 'Let's Get Moving Into Action'? I really liked it!" This will open up this person to the song, and hopefully the artist, giving you something else in common.

The Ballad
No, don't think I'm necessarily talking Delilah-type music. People get enough of that just waiting on hold for businesses. Some of the best types of ballads are done by artists who aren't necessarily the top thought when it comes to ballads. Reaction: "Oh, I forgot Guns N' Roses sang this song! I had my first dance with a girl to 'November Rain'!" Another option is a lesser-known ballad from an artist who does a little bit of everything. Extra points if it was featured in a favorite movie, but no one really knows the title. Reaction: "Finally! That song toward the end of 'Almost Famous' I never knew the name of! ... Once I listened to it, I still couldn't believe it was the Beach Boys!"

The Television Theme
It's short. It may only take up a minute, if that. Bonus points if you're picking a television theme from your youth. Reaction: "I can't believe you put the theme from 'Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' on there. The funny thing is, I probably haven't watched it in ages, and I still knew all the words! ... Except for that lost verse they never played on TV except in the pilot episode."

The Megamix
No, not necessarily the "Grease Megamix", however if that's the only one you have, just remember you can only give this person one Mix CD until you have acquired more. Not everyone like the concept of the megamix, though. If you have a feeling the person receiving the Mix CD is a real stickler for the real deal, start with something a little less Megamix-cherry-popping. Reaction: "So, yeah, putting Eminem's 'The Real Slim Shady' to the background from Britney Spears' 'Oops! I Did It Again' was actually genius! I can't believe it synced up so well!"

The Embarrassment
Sounds weird, I know. But, hey, if you own it, you might as well know that once you give the CD away, someone else will have it in their collection. Surprisingly, it's those little things that makes the person want more. Reaction: "You put 'Under The Sea' from 'The Little Mermaid' on my mix? I can't believe you even own that. ... No, don't get me wrong, OF COURSE I listened to it! It made my commute seem to go faster because I couldn't believe I now have have a CD with it."

The Nostalgic
Think back to the period in your life music really made a "difference". In every decade or generation, there are those years, roughly around 10-15, in which music felt like it was life changing. All of a sudden, you wanted to spend your allowance on CDs from artists you knew your parents probably wouldn't have approved of. It was the moment you started getting spoon fed the saccharine shit MTV and pop radio stations thought you should hear at least 10 times a day. You and your friends started buying "Bop" and other fan magazines, just to look at pictures of these pretty boys, who you never admitted couldn't sing a fucking note, but knew how to sell it. Yeah, throw one of those on the CD. Seriously! Reaction: "I never thought I would hear 'The Sign' again! God, we had great music back then. We really did. Not like the shit kids are listening to now."

The Shit
Yup. Just for even more fun, add the "shit kids are listening to now". Just because you know down in your soul, you wish you still had the ignorance they do. Reaction: "I hate to admit it, but I'm glad you put 'SOS' on there. It's my guilty pleasure. ... Don't tell anyone I said that!" Warning: You only get ONE. No more! More than one puts your CD in the TOOL category.

The Drinking Song
If there's a song that would bring up memories of a drunken trip to Vermont, the first night both of you sang karaoke, the movie you two watched and made a drinking game to, or decided after last call that neither of you could go home until you belted your lungs out to a certain song, it goes on the CD. Reaction: "I don't care how many times I hear 'Sweet Caroline', I still never get sick of shouting 'So good! So good! So good!' Just listening to it made me want vodka and 180, even though I swore the next morning I would never touch those again."

The Personal Favorite(s)
This is a two-parter. You pick your favorite song you know the other person knows you like. Reaction: "Yeah, I knew that one was coming. Not that I don't mind hearing Prince whenever I can." Next, you pick a favorite song of the recipient. Reaction: "Yeah, I knew that one was coming. When will you get over Dexys Midnight Runners?"

The Comeback Song
I grew up listening to oldies. It was actually more of a personal choice than one made by my parents for me. What bothers me are the songs I loved and no one heard of featured in some ridiculous commercial, followed by everyone deciding they loved the song now. Needless to say, I wanted to boycott Gap for a long time. Now, with YouTube favorites and Internet memes, even more songs have a chance to make comebacks. Eh, put it in. They might as well listen to the whole song, rather than sing the two lines people only know. Reaction: "I can't believe you Rick-Rolled me via mix CD!"

The Unknown
This category includes one-hit wonders, fantastic songs by forgettable bands and covers by bands who perform them better than the original. Reaction: "Who the hell are The Hippos? That cover they did of 'Always Something There To Remind Me' is fantastic! Did they do anything else? Actually, who did the original?" Note: Naked Eyes did the version most people think is the "original". It was actually written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David in 1960. Dionne Warwick was the recording artist that brought it to the charts.

And there you have it!

If you have time leftover, add some fillers; double up on the suggestions (EXCEPT THE SHIT CATEGORY!); shuffle it around until you're satisfied; and listen to it the whole way through, keeping the Reactions in mind. And get ready for requests to make more!

This Guy Is Awesome

My husband and I have been arguing back and forth over if this guy is a tool or not. Now, usually, if you're in my sight range and I don't know you or you're not my bartender, I will usually group you in a tool category until proven otherwise. (Yeah, I usually have bitchy thoughts I keep to myself.)

But, in this case, I think because it's in the UK, and my chances of running into him at a bar are slim, I don't categorize this guy as being a tool.

Oof!

Seriously, you'll need to prepare yourself for this. I sent it around at work, and I could hear it spreading as the gasps and "Ohmigawd"s echoed in the office.



Needless to say, this guy is a TOOL.

Tools, meet John Lennon

No, I know you think you know him or what-not. You probably fill your MySpace and Facebook profiles with his quote: "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans," and you sit around Starbucks Coffee Houses talking about his "greatness". Well, before you post the quote anymore, at least listen to the song it came from -- yes, it was a song. He didn't just come out of a post-drug induced haze and say this wonderful quote; it was from a song.

Ironic or Real?

That's the thing with the hipster mentality: I have no idea if they're trying to be blatantly ironic or if they really believe what's coming out of their mouths.

I felt the same confusion (as well as a chuckle) when I found the Hipster PDA.

Goths Are Sooo Last Post...

The new group of tools are just as pretentiously annoying...

A Word About Goths

Word  

With that said, I could really go for some Viper Vials right now...my mouth is already watering just thinking about the rush of sour sugar in 7th grade homeroom...

Two Cars, One Driveway

No, it's not a video; it's a lifestyle. It's a little after 6 a.m. and my husband just left for work. I don't have to leave until 8:30. However, I come home in the afternoon after he does so, unless he happens to be out, I have to park behind him...that is if he didn't invite company over before I got home and someone else is parked in the driveway and, god forbid, they pull their car up a bit so I wouldn't have to park in the parking lot down the street.


This may prove difficult for some, but we get along just fine. Think I'm sounding cocky? Come on, imagine sharing the road, let alone a driveway, with this creature:















I mean, honestly! Not only do I not care to look at feet when I'm stuck in traffic, but in driving her SUV, I have a feeling this position is not as comfortable as she would have liked it to be. Here's my interpretation of what was going on inside the car:



















No matter what the truth of the matter is (a terrible thing for any journalist to say, I know...), the fact remains that this person is official deemed TOOL.