Fruit Salad

Right before work ended today, I started getting that warm, heavy feeling in my temples. Then I realized my muscles felt a bit sore. And my heating pad was all the way up and I was still shivering (we're worried about an economic crisis, but my building can't seem to economize on keeping the top floor cold enough). Then it hit me...

I was getting sick!

By the time I was stuck in traffic, it had turned into an "oh-I-just-want-to-go-home-and-get-in-bed" all-out fever. And, of course, I had to take back roads because they had to close the highway right before rush hour.

On my way home, I ended up listening to a bunch of music, mostly because I was skipping around so much because I was so impatient with the day. I noticed, though, that in my song choices I listened to the whole way through, I had inadvertently ended up listening to enough fruit-inspired bands and songs that I could have gotten my anti-oxidant content from my iPod:

Raspberries-Go All The Way


The Cranberries-Dreams


Harry Nilsson-Coconut


The Lemonheads-Into Your Arms


Bananarama-Last Thing On My Mind


Fiona Apple-If We Kissed
(Because there isn't an official video for this song, I had to look through the many interpretations on YouTube, mostly featuring WB teen crap--this one made me laugh, though, so I had to post it.)



And, of course...
The Beatles-Strawberry Fields Forever


Bonus
Because it's my favorite fruity flavor (I hate the actual fruit itself, though...), I thought I'd add just a little more to the fruit concoction.

Too Cute Not To Click

Dirty computer screen? This might not help, but at least he's trying!

Yahoo! Answers...

Oh, the scraps I wanted to know as a child, but never got a chance to ask anyone. Had I had Yahoo! Answers around when I was younger, I would have been able to get my answers...no matter how weird my question was.

Although my questions (and, sometimes, the answers) would probably still never be as weird as these:

Why Do People Make Computer Viruses?

HELP!! i put pink sharpie in my hair...?

What do people from other states think of connecticut?

Why dose my hamster have strange feet?

Ear wax and beer foam?

LOVE IT!

Just discovered "Saved by the Bell" Remixes. Oh, these are great.

"Slater, Slater, new poon, new poon in the class!"


And "What is this fat fuck doing here?"


Unfortunately, the third video was not available in this country (huh? Never seen that before on YouTube.)

Guess What I Found!

So, yesterday, I came across Fancast, a site where you can watch free movies and television shows. Needless to say, from noon until I was done with work, I watched (well, more or less listened to) eight episodes of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show".

New Addiction Alert!

The Great Sandwich Search

It all began with an e-mail:

"To Employees,

There is a six foot Sub in Conference room 2B. Up for grabs! First come, first serve."

So, around lunch time, we decided to look for it. Problem was, we didn't know where 2B was. It started with three of us and we went to the second floor. Then we ran into two more people from our office, also looking for said sandwich. We went through areas of the 2nd floor we didn't know even existed. When we came across other workers we knew, we asked where the big sandwich was and, of course, we got more people joining us, looking for the unknown 2B conference room. We had about 11 or 12 people looking for the alleged sandwich. We were like a giant game of Snake.

Finally, when we found room 2B (in a small corner of a part of the HR office none of us even knew existed), there were only three pieces of the Sub left. Instead of standing for another minute thinking about the sandwich, I decided to just be proud of the fact that we found the sandwich, and then I made a frozen meal for lunch.

Two Comedians You Might Not Know About

Most comedians who are big now have gotten too big...and, therefore, not funny. These comedians have been around for years (Mitch Hedberg, although he died a few years back, actually has his last recorded routine coming to CD soon) and I'm praying they don't become huge.

Without further ado, meet Mitch Hedberg:


And, a little more well-known, especially if you look him up on IMDB: Eddie Izzard.

Urban Dictionary Fun

So, we had a bit of fun this week with Urban Dictionary.

If you haven't looked around it before, I'll give you a few minutes to poke around...

Done? OK. So, here are the words we found:

• Texas Chilibowl
• Alaskan Pipeline
• Cheese Grater

Warning: VERY adult content...and a little sickening.

Photo Memories #2

My Collection of Carvel Shirts

Oh, the five years of my life during and after college I would never trade for anything. Crazy Westport customers, late nights (doing things we shouldn't have been doing), lots of laughs, Rummy 500, getting bleach on almost every pair of pants I owned while mopping, squirrels jumping out of garbage bins, coming to work hungover and/or still a little drunk, arms covered in stickiness, always having the faint smell of dairy, unidentified bruises, dinners at Angelina's and Chef's Table, hopping all over the shelves while on an Ephedra high, driving the scary Carvel van, a highly defined scooping arm (and a less than stellar left arm comparatively)...oh, and ice cream, ice cream, ice cream!

I ended up holding onto one shirt and another will be used in a gift for a friend.

Five Songs That Should Have Added A Pick Slide

I have to say, I get very nostalgic for the '90s whenever a power ballad comes on and I hear a pick slide. I think it's one of the most underestimated "techniques" in music, to be honest. It's like that random burst that re-focuses me on whatever song I'm listening to.

When I was driving home from work, I was listening to Rod Stewart's, Bryan Adams' and Sting's All For One (no joke, really) and I realized why I always felt so anxious and let down listening to it: It needs a pick slide!



Then, when traffic started moving, I found myself singing along to Michael Jackson's Black or White (watching the video just now definitely made me smile, too):



Then, I was switching highways when I decided Joan Jett's I Love Rock 'n' Roll needed a few pick slides, although with her random outbursts of "OOOOW!", Ms. Jett might feel threatened:


When I was almost home, I was worried I wouldn't have a good collection of songs to add to this blog...but luckily ZZ Top's Tush came on:


You may be wondering about the fifth song. Well, I saved the best for last. When it came on, I was thanking the iPod gods of Shuffle Songs. As if this song didn't have enough cliches (musical and otherwise) attached to it already:

Why Having a Blog is Better than Having Facebook/MySpace - Reasons 1-5

Reason #1 - I don't want to join a group with other people who like the same music I do.

In a blog, I can simply write: "I like Robbie Williams." And what is unwritten is: "If you don't like Robbie Williams, feel free to discuss in the comments section why you don't. Maybe I'll agree with you, maybe I won't." Also posted and understood: "Here is a video illustrating the points I have made about Robbie Williams being a great musician. You cannot help at least tapping your feet to his U.K. (read: better than the U.S. crap on the radio) rhythm."

Said Example:



Reason #2 - Blogs load faster and are usually less complicated than profiles.
Good Lord, people put too much on their pages! I can understand the background designs, the coordinating colors, but the bumper stickers, the virtual pet rocks, the "Save the Jackalope" applications, the "Join the Largest Facebook Group [of tools] Now!" groups, etc. If I'm actually looking at someone's profile, it's for some information, or to post a birthday greeting. and it's gotten to the point where I can't even find the comment wall anymore!

Reason #3 - Who are these people?
I'm pretty good at remembering names and faces...of people I've come into immediate contact with. I can probably still name every member of every class from kindergarten through 6th grade off the top of my head (and with the help of an hour or two...and maybe a glass of wine). I remember people I was friends with in middle school and high school. Maybe we had lockers right next to each other for all four years (I don't remember her name at all, now that I think about it!), but we never talked. So, if I don't respond immediately (or at all) to your friend request, it's because I need to find and unpack my yearbooks so I can look you up. Or, if you're a friend-of-a-friend, at least leave a comment as to why I would know you. With blogs, there is no small talk, no "how have you been-fine-oh good-how are you-good-well, that's nice" type dealings. It's a blog! No need for small talk, the information is right there!

Reason #4 - Stalking is a lot more detailed through a blog.
Well, it is! I mean, what can people really find out about me through my Facebook profile?
"Status change! She got married? I should ask her 'how's married life?' because I'm sure she doesn't hear that at least once a day!"
vs.
"Ah-ha! A post labeled 'marriage'!...oh, her and her husband are too funny. I guess they're doing well."

Reason #5 - Nothing really changes on profile pages.
No, really. It doesn't. The general information stays the same. Sure, people will change their pictures every so often, and I know those who break up with people using the status option, and then there are those who just can't join enough groups.

In blog terms, they can change their user icon, depending on the post; they can find the humor in their status change and write about it, giving a laugh (or cry) to others; and, as far as groups go, see reason No. 1--you might as well just write a post every time you decide you like or don't like something. But, then again, imagine reading a blog made up entirely of posts like "I like soup. That is all." "I don't like Facebook's new layout." "I remember when Jessie got hooked on caffeine pills." "I DO know the way to San Jose, la la la la la la la la la laaaa." (Actually, that's not a bad idea for a blog...My Idea! No Can Have!)

The Experiment

Hypothesis: The scale is evil.

How I will prove this: Weighing myself for two days after every event that may cause a fluctuation in weight.

Materials: Scale (batteries should be in full working order), myself (and my ass, which has taken on its own area code at this point)

Experiment:
12 p.m.-204.4-Just woke up
12:14-203.0-Made bed, went to bathroom
1:15-203.0-Ate scrambled egg with shredded cheese, two pieces of toast with butter and slice of cheese (Ha! No change!)
2:28-204.8-Put on extra pair of pants, cleaned upstairs
3:29-204.4-More cleaning, just had sip of diet soda
3:30-205.2-Holding can of soda while on scale
3:53-204.4-Soda made me have to use bathroom
4:29-204.8-Finished soda, worked up sweat from ripping down wallpaper in upstairs bathroom
5:24-205.0-Folded laundry, put away
6:16-205.0-Showered, hair still wet, standing on scale in towel
6:30-203.6-Dried hair, put clothes on
6:45-204.6-Ate a banana
7:00-204.8-Put more laundry away
8:09-205.4-Went shopping, put sweatshirt on, tummy's growling
8:13-205.4-Had a cookie
8:31-205.6-Had slice of cheese, dinner in oven
9:02-206.6-Ate fish sticks, french fries, half can of soda
9:21-207.0-Ate brownie
11:30-206.2-Fell asleep on couch, about to go back to sleep

End of Day One:
Total Weight Gained: 8.6 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 7.6 lbs
End Weight Lost/Gained: +2.2 lbs

Day Two:
8:30 a.m.-203.4-Woke up
8:51-202.6-Went to bathroom, cleaned up a bit
10:58-203.0-Woke up again, 1/2 bottle of water
11:13-204.2-Ate yogurt, put on sweatshirt
11:35-204.0-Went to bathroom
12:09 p.m.-204.2-Ate peanut butter granola bar
12:43-204.2-Ate two handfuls of shredded cheese and a slice of cheese
5:23-205.8-Got back from Dad's house, had one slice of pizza there
5:28-205.0-Went to bathroom
6:40-204.8-Ate some crackers and hummus
6:46-204.6-Went to bathroom
7:43-205.4-Ate one piece of lasagna
10:32-206.4-Drank a glass and a half of wine
11:38-205.4-Went to bathroom
11:42-203.0-Ready for bed, no pants or sweatshirt

End of Day Two:
Total Weight Gain: 5.2 lbs.
Total Weight Loss: 4.4 lbs.
End Weight Loss/Gain: -.4

Final weigh-in this morning: 201.8 lbs. (I'm not even going to put in that I somehow gained weight after I went to the bathroom; I like this number better anyway.)

Total results: -2.6 lbs. in two days.

Results: Seeing the weight gain over the course of a day = Hate the scale, I think I need a new one.

Seeing the results total for the weekend = Holy crap, really? So, you're saying I can have my cake (or cheese, from what I've realized is my downfall) and eat it too? Losing about a pound a day?

Sad conclusion: I will gain it back in three weeks when the bagel cravings begin again...

Variables:

* Knowing I had to get on the scale after everything made me a little self-conscious of what I was putting in my mouth...and made me very anxious to go to the bathroom more.

* I theorize that whenever my husband would follow me into the bedroom and catch me standing on the scale holding my notebook every few hours, the fear added at least half-a-pound.

* How the hell did eating a banana add a whole pound? And a brownie only made me gain .4?

* Have only looked at scale three times today. Can't wait for tomorrow morning. If I get below 200 this week, there will be celebration. Maybe in the form of brownies, as they are somehow better than bananas.

* OK, OK, before you comment about waiting for digestion to take place, yes, I know I shouldn't have weighed myself seconds after finishing the last bite of something...but I liked my brownie vs. banana discovery!

Final Analysis: The scale is evil, but only in large doses. (Brownies, however, are not! Ha!)

Best German Export?

There's a debate going on at work about the top three rankings of Germany's exports:

The Hoff


Heidi Klum


The Scorpions


Opinions?

Sometimes I Love My Job

What I had to look up at work:

Work Antics

This guy Sean has a police shirt he used for a photo shoot on his chair. And it has a patch that says "police" on it. So, one of the guys a few days ago added a piece of paper with the word "cock" written in big letters to the top so it says "cock police".

So, they just ran a tour through the office while Sean was out of his seat...and the chair was facing them as they walked in. And we all turned around to see them laughing at something and we couldn't figure out what they were laughing about until we remembered Sean's shirt. Oh, the antics.

Update: Sean just got back to his desk and we told him the story and he laughed, then paused and said, "Wait, it says 'cock' on the shirt?!"